New Innovations in Gaydar

(This conversation took place two days ago.)

Clint: You remember that Justin guy from elementary school?

Me: That gay dude?

Clint: Yeah. Dude! I knew he was gay back then, and I dont think we even really thought about that stuff.

Me: Yeah, I guess we just thought he was a girl.

Clint: He didnt play Pokemon, man. That's how I knew man. He was the only guy in our class in 5th grade that got to see Toy Story 2 because we all got caught with Pokemon cards.

Pokemon, to my classmates and I, was the be all and end all in 5th grade.

How's This For Cleaning Up Your Image

This is from the new movie "Takers" starring America's Sweethearts: Chris Brown and T.I.

Fireworks

I'm going to make this summer
the best thats ever been
No girls, no money, no depression
and you know that Ive got friends
So give me constant sunshine
and no responsibility
im getting older but im feeling young
i came to terms with futility

when the sun goes down
fireworks, fireworks
if you came around
fireworks, fireworks
put the summer on a loop
fireworks, fireworks
getting high up on the roof
fireworks, fireworks

My friends and I dont make any plans
We just play life by the ear
May to August isnt enough
We celebrate summer all the year

when the sun goes astray
fireworks, fireworks
stay in bed all day
fireworks, fireworks
Wont have it any other way
fireworks, fireworks
You should really stay
fireworks, fireworks

Spring Fever

Lying on the pavement
the sky's lucidity
reminds me of the time
i sat down next to you
rooms were smaller with me
stares were colder too
i saw you from the stairwell
in a scarf of electric blue

And I wonder
what you would say
If i Told you
we should runaway
Yeah, to a place
we can live
on our own
Yeah, to a place
where we belong

I thought before I acted
The impulse only grew
it was worth the risk, i must confess
we are all waiting for something new

And I wondered
what you would say
If I told you
there was a better way
Yeah, we could warm
our bones by the fire
Yeah, Just let love be a liar

Skeleton Key

(These are lyrics for songs that my band plays)

You always had movement on your mind
Never want to lead, dont want to be left behind
you were always told you were the skeleton key
live without ties, the way its supposed to be

so wheres your crown, wheres your kingdom
wheres your peace of mind, what have you become
do you dare to believe, does your face conceal?
the gap between fact and whats unreal

there's no skeleton key
nothing comes for free

can you hear me whisper? I can hear you screaming
youre alive with fire while im asleep dreaming
i guess you thought this was surely fated
all your open doors have been barricaded

there's no skeleton key
nothing comes for free

A Plea from Jim Rome

So the San Diego Padres have Star Wars Fever. They have even adopted Yoda as a spiritual leader. Anywhere in So Cal is way too visible for that coward. Yeah, I said it Yoda is a coward. He gets owned by the emperor and then hides back in his little bog. He doesnt even lift a saber to help Han and Luke fight. Then just at the moment when Luke needs him most, he croaks! Quitter! He is just going to abandon the Padres right when they make it to the postseason. If you are really in it to win it, leave the loser to the Dodgers. He is the ultimate Quitter.

Beer Review: Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

I think that Flying Dog thought they could make a beer by scattering Hunter S Thompson's ashes into a dark, hopy mixture. They were right. It has subtle flavors of chocolate and coffee, while not being too thick or too abrasive in taste. There is a prominent bitterness, but it goes down clean and leaves a pleasant aftertaste. The alcohol content of this beer is high (9.2%), so you have to shell out the extra cash. If you are in Tennessee, like I am, then you have to go to a liquor store to get this. I got this as part of a sampler, so I will be updating each day on the next beer.

If you are a fan of porters, I recommend it. If you are into refreshing American-style beers, I would pass.

A Family Affair!

My uncles want me to bang everything that moves. No, I'm looking for that quality.

Populism vs. Elitism in New Media and Side Notes

"Fill up your mind with all it can hold. Don't forget that your body will let it all go."-Jeff Tweedy

All the knowledge in the world is at our fingertips. We, our generation, have been suckled on the well or, better yet, abyss that the internet provides. Will more sources of information enrich our collective knowledge or muddle it? Will we take solace in the fact that the providers of new media can provide new, perhaps even refreshing, outlooks and styles of reporting, or will we be filled with paranoia about the lack of old school connections and degrees from reputable journalism schools?

It brings to mind the classic conflict of populism vs. elitism. I can't decide where I stand in that conflict. I believe in experts and academia. I believe that there is a difference between taste and opinion. Everyone has an opinion, but gaining taste comes from gaining education. (Damn, I bet I sound like a blue blood.) On the other side of the coin, I tend to fall for the highly idealistic democratic dream of American life. I believe that forms of criticism are highly subjective or unclear and inconsistent on their methods of dissection. I believe that every voice should be heard, but some voices should ring out. I want to reject the idea of a classic aristocracy made up of silver spoon white males, but I am rejecting myself with that argument. (Maybe not a silver spoon but definitely metal). If I can find a middle ground in this argument it would be that I believe that we should view expertise in a more diverse manner. In media that I am familiar with like music and film, the populace has proven time and time again that they dont know shit.( yeah, I know it's a double negative. I like the way it sounds though) I don't think the populace are stupid or ignorant. I just dont think they care. That's why we need to listen to people that have devoted their lives to understanding a subject on more than one level. Sure the action scenes in 300 were vividly depicted and well choreographed, but no respectable film critic would use that as a basis for the argument that 300 was the best film of the year. Many of my facebook friends would disagree. We need multicultural, heterogenous views, so that we can balance populism and elitism by having most demographic groups represented by eloquent, trained individuals. With this method, at least most people can feel represented.

Side Notes:

MTV: Please give me more of the freakazoid cultual mutations that you caused like Jersey Shore and less hackneyed, sentimental bullshit like "If you really knew me." I realized a long time ago that people love to be pulled into a Breakfast Club scenario where everyone reveals their depth and hardships. We shouldnt need a show like that. I guess MTV selling empathy is better than selling kegstands.

Being Cynical: Will I ever stop? Should I stop? Nothing makes me smile more than cliche.

Women: Please tell me where the balance between feminism and tradition is. Maybe you dont know either, but it confuses the fuck out of me. I know you dont want to be treated like an object, but then sometimes, you tell me you want to be treated like an object. I dont know whether to be Bluto or Popeye. (That analogy alone is probably proof of my disconnect.)

No One Knows

I know facts. I can tell you that Spielberg directed Jaws. I can tell you that there are 5280 feet in a mile. I can even tell you that John Elway was originally going to play baseball.

Those facts dont mean anything to me except leading me to 25 bucks at a chain restaurant. (on a good night)

I have realized that the only thing I am 100% bullseye sure about is that I dont know any of the answers to the questions that are always asked. I'm not alone in this. Many people think they know the answers, but that's either a lie or a dream. (are they the same thing?) Our lives are fluid, and fluidity calls for improvisation and adaptation. In English, I was taught that concrete nouns were words that you could perceive with at least one of your 5 senses. Love, freedom,hate,truth, and power arent concrete nouns. When we view those as concrete ideas (things that are consistent and definite), the literal meaning of "concrete" becomes apparent. It becomes heavy, cumbersome, and ultimately immoveable.

From now on, I lose the concrete.

From now on, I float.