Track Reviews: October

Snowmelt- Weed Diamond
7 inch single (Bridgetown)

Even though Lo-Fi rockers Weed Diamond hail from the snowy city of Denver, Colorado, this song sounds like it has been baked in the sun. The bouncy rhythm section keeps the main melody afloat in the sea of guitar noise that churns under it. The verses slowly build the anticipation to a chorus that is slammed out;the drummer sounds like he's playing with hammers. This is a song about making a change, and the use of the season's changing metaphor is unoriginal, but effective and honest. Like many bands of this ilk, the vocals are distorted and fuzzy. For a band that must love weed enough to put it in their name, it seems fitting.

Final Thoughts:
It's good to know that there's more to Denver's music scene than jam bands.
The melody is relentlessly catchy and will most likely be hummed in a shower near you.



So Appalled- Kanye West (feat. Jay Z, RZA, Pusha T, Swizz Beatz, Cyhi the Prynce)
from Watch the Throne EP (Def Jam)

2010 is going to be Kanye's year. With the fallout from most of his public appearances in 2009, he needed a comeback, and this is the Maserati of comebacks. The combination of his unreal SNL performance on October 2 and his promise to give out a free track every friday until Christmas is pushing him to a new level. Like the hook says, "This shit is fucking ridiculous"
This is Kanye and an all-star cast of versatile rappers howling over a sparse, grimy beat. The track clocks in at almost seven minutes, but it doesn't drag. This is the self conscious Kanye, and he takes us on a journey of hip hop fame during an economic recession. His guilt is palpable, and Ye tries to give back offering, "...Another goddamn dance track gotta hurt. That's why I rather spit something that gotta purp"
Jay-Z slowly simmers over the beat quoting The Dark Knight, and Pusha T, half of the duo Clipse, falls into his normal coke rap. Swizz Beatz and RZA have cameos on the hook, but don't offer much more. The end of the song is turned into a welcome party for largely unknown Georgia emcee Cyhi the Prynce. He takes the route of all out bragging, citing his place on God's I-Pod, his ability to have sex with more than one girl named after a month, and "getting bitches by the twos, nigga Noah's Ark".

Final Thoughts:
Kanye breaks hip hop canon (hook heavy structure, questioning materialism) and stomps out taboos (track length).
Look for this song to get cut before the final version is released.

Diamond in the Rough

I'll Try Anything Once -The Strokes

Ten decisions shape your life,
you'll be aware of 5 about,
7 ways to go through school,
either you're noticed or left out,
7 ways to get ahead,
7 reasons to drop out,
when i said ' I can see me in your eyes',
you said 'I can see you in my bed',
that's not just friendship that's romance too,
you like music we can dance to,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
i'll calm down,
and i'll get along with you,

There is a time when we all fail,
some people take it pretty well,
some take it all out on themselves,
some they just take it out on friends,
oh everybody plays the game,
and if you don't you're called insane,

Don't don't don't don't it's not safe no more,
i've got to see you one more time,
soon you were born,
in 1984,

Sit me down,
shut me up,
i'll calm down,
and i'll get along with you,

Everybody was well dressed,
and everybody was a mess,
6 things without fail you must do,
so that your woman loves just you,
oh all the girls played mental games,
and all the guys were dressed the same,

Why not try it all,
if you only remember it once,
oooh ooooooh,

Sit me down,
shut me up,
i'll calm down,
and i'll get along with you,

This song is a demo recording of the song "You Only Live Once" off of First Impressions of Earth. It was released as a B-side on the "Heart in a Cage" single. It appears in the trailer for Sofia Coppola's upcoming film "Sometimes".

Track Reviews: September

Seat Change- Curren$y (feat. Snoop Dogg)
from Pilot Talk (Def Jam)
Learning from both Masta P and Lil Wayne, Curren$y shows his well-honed style on this slow jam from his debut "Pilot Talk". The track has an early 90's G-Funk vibe, and that's not just because Snoop Dogg rides shotgun. The beat slowly bounces and stutters with the only melody being provided by a psyched-out electric guitar. Producer Ski Beatz comes off like Rick Rubin on codeine syrup. Over this blunted beat, Curren$y paints the picture of how he rolls with the ladies. "I play the field with stiff arms and side steps." Snoop's verse variates between smooth and spastic, and it is easy to see that Snoop is an influence on Curren$y.

Final Thoughts:
It's basically a father/son car ride in a hot-boxed Benz.
Rappers hate finding seeds in their herb.
7 out of 10



Throwing Shade- Abe Vigoda
from Crush (Post Present Medium)

Abe Vigoda have stumbled upon a new sound with this debut single from their new album Crush. The opening guitar riff is immediate and becomes the glue that keeps the puzzle together. Fuzzy background synth textures give the song its large sound while the other synth adds stabbing micro-melodies. The song culminates in a guitar solo that manages to be both harsh and catchy. It seems as if Abe Vigoda watched how tourmates Vampire Weekend pushed their tropical, bedroom pop into the next dimension and followed suit. The catchiness is still there, but this sounds decidedly more modern. It does appear, however, that lead singer might have gotten tired of the tropics because the vocals are cold sounding and mostly obscured by noise or distortion. The tug-of-war between the frigid vocals and the warmth of the guitar line offers an aurally entertaining conflict.

Final Thoughts:
If Vampire Weekend and No Age got together to make a song, it would sound like this.
6 out of 10



TAOS- Menomena
from Mines (Barsuk)

If there ever was a song that was designed to appear in a car commercial, it is this song. Don't take that as a dig, though. This song locks in early and doesn't let up. From the opening bass riff, listeners can tell that Menomena's players were schooled in 60s/70s rock, but they took honors classes. TAOS is a song about looking to get laid, a classic theme of rock. Bravado explodes all over the track. The singer says "I'm not the most cocksure guy.", but that would be hard to tell from his vocals. Guitars cut in and out acting like pissed off background vocalists vying for equal attention. The most impressive aspect of this song is the way the song constantly surprises the listener. Just when you think the song will stick to its form, it moves to a different tone and feeling; it transfers from all out bombast to pensive pleading. It seems to represent the transition of a drunken night. It goes from revelry and confidence to loneliness and bedroom optimism.

Final Thoughts:
A great evolution from past power trios (Cream, ZZ Top) that provides tons of sound.
It's hard not to drum on the steering wheel or play air guitar while listening.
9 out of 10

Moments in Auto Tune

Auto-Tune has penetrated American culture. Dancers and drinkers hear it permeate through nightclub speakers. Political geeks turn press conferences and breaking news into makeshift rap parodies. It's so popular that Jay-Z famously called for its death with his single "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)". Jay-Z's sentiments, however, place him in the minority. Recording artists ranging from Miley Cyrus to Kid Rock have all embraced the technology and, later, cashed huge checks because of it. When listeners look back on music from the first decade of the 21st century, will Auto-Tune be seen as innovation or parlor trick?

Here is a look at some of the most important steps to Auto Tune's rise to prominence:

1997: Auto-Tune is developed by geophysicist Andy Hildebrand. The software was originally created to help find oil by interpreting seismic data, but Hildebrand discovered that it could detect and modify pitch. Being a trained flautist, Hilldebrand realized the usefulness of a program that could correct a bad voice or a cracking horn.

1998: Auto-Tune is used by producer Mark Taylor on Cher's hit single "Believe". Taylor put the effect on the demo version of the song and was afraid that Cher would hate it. Cher loved the effect on the song, but the record companies wanted it removed. Cher, however, fought for the effect, and it stayed. 10 million copies sold later, Auto-Tune becomes known as "The Cher Effect".

2001: Daft Punk uses Auto-Tune all over its genre-paving album Discovery. Songs like "One More Time" and "Harder,Better,Faster,Stronger" took "The Cher Effect" to a new level. It's only fitting that two French guys who dress like villains from an Ed Wood movie pushed Auto-Tune to outer space. Robots finally get their "Thriller".

2005: Rapper/Producer/Singer/Stripper-enthusiast T-Pain uses Auto-Tune to woo the ladies with his first single "I'm Sprung". Follow up single "Im N Luv (Wit a Stripper)" takes listeners through T-Pain's version of puppy love and his hatred of spelling rules. Strip club DJ's finally get their "Thriller".

2008: In the wake of his mother's tragic death, rap superstar Kanye West releases "808s & Heartbreak", a lonely, electronic experiment in minimalism. The album received mixed reviews with most critics championing its stark presentation and emotional resonance. The contrast of the album to West's previous work left some fans wondering where West lost his hood pass. (It was at all those fashion shows in Europe)

2009: Railing against Auto-Tune becomes the coolest thing to do in the music industry since cocaine. Christina Aguilera is seen in public wearing a shirt that states "Auto-Tune is for Pussies". Jay-Z releases "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)" as part of "The Blueprint 3".

2010: T-Pain creates an Auto-Tuned cartoon, "Freaknik: The Musical", for Cartoon Network and an iPhone app that allows users to manipulate their own voices. Christina Aguilera releases "Bionic" that features Auto-Tune on multiple songs. Jay-Z appears on Kanye West's superstar romp "Monster", which heavily features Auto-Tune.

Andrew W.K. Gives Me Advice

I approached Andrew W.K. after waiting in line for an hour and a half. He was dressed in his usual nasty off-white t-shirt and jeans combo. He looked just like he does in every video and in every picture. As I walked up to the counter, My friend was taking his turn, and thats basically what it is, a turn. There's a smile. There's a comment about your shoes, the band on your shirt, or just a common greeting if he can't pull off something interesting. My friend chose some sort of enlarged album art from a Japanese-only release, and it was signed.
My turn was very simple. I shot out a "what's up?". He obliged with something forgettable (I can say that because I honestly just forgot it), and then proceeded to sign my black and white copy of his new album art. I told him "I'm going to a party tonight, and its going to have an open bar. What are some tips for me, man?" It seemed like common sense and a little bit of indulgence to ask "Mr. Party Hard" that, but I guess I wanted to hear it from the best.(?)

He wrote on the paper:
BE SMART
BE STUPID
BE FREE

He explained to me as he wrote it. "So first, you are going to want to be smart. It's an open bar, and you don't want to get too wasted. You don't want to be too smart though and overthink everything, so be stupid. Make some mistakes and just do. Don't think. Of course, you got to be free. Now, I know it seems weird that I'm telling you to be free because if you listened to me then you wouldn't be free. It's a paradox, but you know what I mean."

Genius or Pop Vomit?

Tonight is a Lifechanger

I had a wreck tonight. A young guy on a motorcycle ran into my car as I was pulling out of a parking lot. I'll never forget that moment.

The 5 Wildest and Weirdest 3D Movies

3D films are becoming the rage in Hollywood. With films like Avatar and Toy Story 3D racking in millions at the box office, 3D is enjoying a strong comeback. Wildly popular in the 1950s and 1960s, 3D was featured in many genre films from Horror to Westerns. In the next decades, 3D lost its mainstream appeal and became utilized by the Porn industry and cult filmmakers. Avatar director James Cameron created new 3D technology in the mid-1990s while working on his documentary feature Ghosts of the Abyss. This new technology was slowly adopted by Hollywood until it finally exploded with Cameron's Avatar.


The Stewardesses (1969): Rated X
Until Avatar was released, this 3D softcore pornographic film was the most profitable ever made. The film follows a crew of stewardesses on a crazy night full of drugs and sex. Best use of 3-Double-D technology.



Flesh for Frankenstein(1974): Rated X
This film is a retelling of Mary Shelley's story with a twist that only Andy Warhol could imagine. In the film, Doctor Frankenstein wants to create an elite Aryan race, so he needs a male and a female monster. The film features all kinds of horrific violence and extreme sexuality. The film features not one but two disembowlments.





Robot Monster(1953)
An evil alien robot has killed everyone on Earth except 8 people. The survivors have an immunity to the robot's death ray by taking antibiotics. The robot later fails to kill the survivors because it falls in love with an Earth woman. Just to top it all off, the whole plot of the film is revealed to be a little boy's dream.




The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl
Robert Rodriguez made this film with the help of his children, particularly his son Racer. The film follows the imagination of a boy that creates Lava Girl and Shark Boy in the dream world of (get this) Planet Drool. The film's titular duo work to defeat Mr. Electridad, played by comedian George Lopez. The film wavers from one fantasy cliche to another. It even plays postmodern when the villainous George Lopez travels to real life to kill the boy who dreamed the whole film. A weird pattern is developing.




Piranha 3D(2010)
It's a glorified buffet of gore and gorgeous girls. The film takes place at a popular Spring Break setting where an earthquake has awoken an ancient race of piranha. The style of the film is overtly tongue in cheek. Every opportunity where nudity can appear, it will. The amount of blood in this film probably outweighs the amount from all the Saw films combined. The reappearance of Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss adds to the camp of the film, as both of the actors chew the scenery like goats in a junkyard.

New Innovations in Gaydar

(This conversation took place two days ago.)

Clint: You remember that Justin guy from elementary school?

Me: That gay dude?

Clint: Yeah. Dude! I knew he was gay back then, and I dont think we even really thought about that stuff.

Me: Yeah, I guess we just thought he was a girl.

Clint: He didnt play Pokemon, man. That's how I knew man. He was the only guy in our class in 5th grade that got to see Toy Story 2 because we all got caught with Pokemon cards.

Pokemon, to my classmates and I, was the be all and end all in 5th grade.

How's This For Cleaning Up Your Image

This is from the new movie "Takers" starring America's Sweethearts: Chris Brown and T.I.

Fireworks

I'm going to make this summer
the best thats ever been
No girls, no money, no depression
and you know that Ive got friends
So give me constant sunshine
and no responsibility
im getting older but im feeling young
i came to terms with futility

when the sun goes down
fireworks, fireworks
if you came around
fireworks, fireworks
put the summer on a loop
fireworks, fireworks
getting high up on the roof
fireworks, fireworks

My friends and I dont make any plans
We just play life by the ear
May to August isnt enough
We celebrate summer all the year

when the sun goes astray
fireworks, fireworks
stay in bed all day
fireworks, fireworks
Wont have it any other way
fireworks, fireworks
You should really stay
fireworks, fireworks

Spring Fever

Lying on the pavement
the sky's lucidity
reminds me of the time
i sat down next to you
rooms were smaller with me
stares were colder too
i saw you from the stairwell
in a scarf of electric blue

And I wonder
what you would say
If i Told you
we should runaway
Yeah, to a place
we can live
on our own
Yeah, to a place
where we belong

I thought before I acted
The impulse only grew
it was worth the risk, i must confess
we are all waiting for something new

And I wondered
what you would say
If I told you
there was a better way
Yeah, we could warm
our bones by the fire
Yeah, Just let love be a liar

Skeleton Key

(These are lyrics for songs that my band plays)

You always had movement on your mind
Never want to lead, dont want to be left behind
you were always told you were the skeleton key
live without ties, the way its supposed to be

so wheres your crown, wheres your kingdom
wheres your peace of mind, what have you become
do you dare to believe, does your face conceal?
the gap between fact and whats unreal

there's no skeleton key
nothing comes for free

can you hear me whisper? I can hear you screaming
youre alive with fire while im asleep dreaming
i guess you thought this was surely fated
all your open doors have been barricaded

there's no skeleton key
nothing comes for free

A Plea from Jim Rome

So the San Diego Padres have Star Wars Fever. They have even adopted Yoda as a spiritual leader. Anywhere in So Cal is way too visible for that coward. Yeah, I said it Yoda is a coward. He gets owned by the emperor and then hides back in his little bog. He doesnt even lift a saber to help Han and Luke fight. Then just at the moment when Luke needs him most, he croaks! Quitter! He is just going to abandon the Padres right when they make it to the postseason. If you are really in it to win it, leave the loser to the Dodgers. He is the ultimate Quitter.

Beer Review: Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

I think that Flying Dog thought they could make a beer by scattering Hunter S Thompson's ashes into a dark, hopy mixture. They were right. It has subtle flavors of chocolate and coffee, while not being too thick or too abrasive in taste. There is a prominent bitterness, but it goes down clean and leaves a pleasant aftertaste. The alcohol content of this beer is high (9.2%), so you have to shell out the extra cash. If you are in Tennessee, like I am, then you have to go to a liquor store to get this. I got this as part of a sampler, so I will be updating each day on the next beer.

If you are a fan of porters, I recommend it. If you are into refreshing American-style beers, I would pass.

A Family Affair!

My uncles want me to bang everything that moves. No, I'm looking for that quality.

Populism vs. Elitism in New Media and Side Notes

"Fill up your mind with all it can hold. Don't forget that your body will let it all go."-Jeff Tweedy

All the knowledge in the world is at our fingertips. We, our generation, have been suckled on the well or, better yet, abyss that the internet provides. Will more sources of information enrich our collective knowledge or muddle it? Will we take solace in the fact that the providers of new media can provide new, perhaps even refreshing, outlooks and styles of reporting, or will we be filled with paranoia about the lack of old school connections and degrees from reputable journalism schools?

It brings to mind the classic conflict of populism vs. elitism. I can't decide where I stand in that conflict. I believe in experts and academia. I believe that there is a difference between taste and opinion. Everyone has an opinion, but gaining taste comes from gaining education. (Damn, I bet I sound like a blue blood.) On the other side of the coin, I tend to fall for the highly idealistic democratic dream of American life. I believe that forms of criticism are highly subjective or unclear and inconsistent on their methods of dissection. I believe that every voice should be heard, but some voices should ring out. I want to reject the idea of a classic aristocracy made up of silver spoon white males, but I am rejecting myself with that argument. (Maybe not a silver spoon but definitely metal). If I can find a middle ground in this argument it would be that I believe that we should view expertise in a more diverse manner. In media that I am familiar with like music and film, the populace has proven time and time again that they dont know shit.( yeah, I know it's a double negative. I like the way it sounds though) I don't think the populace are stupid or ignorant. I just dont think they care. That's why we need to listen to people that have devoted their lives to understanding a subject on more than one level. Sure the action scenes in 300 were vividly depicted and well choreographed, but no respectable film critic would use that as a basis for the argument that 300 was the best film of the year. Many of my facebook friends would disagree. We need multicultural, heterogenous views, so that we can balance populism and elitism by having most demographic groups represented by eloquent, trained individuals. With this method, at least most people can feel represented.

Side Notes:

MTV: Please give me more of the freakazoid cultual mutations that you caused like Jersey Shore and less hackneyed, sentimental bullshit like "If you really knew me." I realized a long time ago that people love to be pulled into a Breakfast Club scenario where everyone reveals their depth and hardships. We shouldnt need a show like that. I guess MTV selling empathy is better than selling kegstands.

Being Cynical: Will I ever stop? Should I stop? Nothing makes me smile more than cliche.

Women: Please tell me where the balance between feminism and tradition is. Maybe you dont know either, but it confuses the fuck out of me. I know you dont want to be treated like an object, but then sometimes, you tell me you want to be treated like an object. I dont know whether to be Bluto or Popeye. (That analogy alone is probably proof of my disconnect.)

No One Knows

I know facts. I can tell you that Spielberg directed Jaws. I can tell you that there are 5280 feet in a mile. I can even tell you that John Elway was originally going to play baseball.

Those facts dont mean anything to me except leading me to 25 bucks at a chain restaurant. (on a good night)

I have realized that the only thing I am 100% bullseye sure about is that I dont know any of the answers to the questions that are always asked. I'm not alone in this. Many people think they know the answers, but that's either a lie or a dream. (are they the same thing?) Our lives are fluid, and fluidity calls for improvisation and adaptation. In English, I was taught that concrete nouns were words that you could perceive with at least one of your 5 senses. Love, freedom,hate,truth, and power arent concrete nouns. When we view those as concrete ideas (things that are consistent and definite), the literal meaning of "concrete" becomes apparent. It becomes heavy, cumbersome, and ultimately immoveable.

From now on, I lose the concrete.

From now on, I float.

Ghosts

Ghosts exist.


I'm not talking about a spectral presence or about anything supernatural. Just like the origin of the vampire, the supernatural entities that we think of as ghosts had to root from something. Maybe vampires were supposed to represent greed and violence, but I know what ghosts are.

Have you ever spoke to a person and made eye contact with them, only to realize that you were completely ignoring their words and thinking about another person. If that person is from your past, that's a ghost. Ghosts haunt people with thoughts of embarrassment in high school, failed romantic propositions, and even general mistakes.

Surely, some reading this are thinking that I'm just talking about memories, but what I'm speaking of is a stronger reaction than just remembering an event, face, or thought. Most memories can't destroy your night, and most memories won't linger on forever. Have you ever been in a situation where the mere mention of someone's name turns the mood for someone else, if not you? That's a ghost haunting you.

I read a quote one time that I can only paraphrase: "No matter what we do, we are just trying to beat the past". It seems so hard to fully escape the person you were and the person that other people think you are.

The worst ghosts are the ones that make you feel bittersweet. The ghosts that make you realize that you were the one that dropped the ball or didn't say the right words. The ghosts of opportunity really haunt me. If I can put it in a more visual sense, I would say that I feel like the most common rendition of Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol: weighed down with chains that no one can see. These chains do not lock me to a wall or to a room. These chains follow me everywhere, and they only lock away myself inside my physical self.

I'm sure that these ghosts will follow me. Granted, I'm sure some of the older ones will be replaced with newer ones; thats just the natural order of things. Does it get worse the older you get? Do you start to pinch your minutes?

One of my favorite lines from Bruce Springsteen goes something like this: "Is a dream a lie, if it never comes true? or is it something worse?"
That makes me think that its only going to be harder. The chains will vine around even more, til all I am looking for is comfort. That's growing up right?

For the youth: All we have is time and potential, but what happens when neither are on our side anymore?

New Year

I saw Royal Bangs in Knoxville,TN for New Year's Eve.

They (almost) started at midnight. They counted down and then played this song:

This Will Be Our Year
The Zombies

The warmth of your love
is like the warmth of the sun
and this will be our year
took a long time to come

don't let go of my hand
now darkness has gone
and this will be our year
took a long time to come

and I won't forget
the way you held me up when I was down
and I won't forget the way you said,
"Darling I love you"
You gave me faith to go on

Now we're there and we've only just begun
This will be our year
took a long time to come

The warmth of your smile
smile for me, little one
and this will be our year
took a long time to come

You don't have to worry
all your worried days are gone
this will be our year
took a long time to come

and I won't forget
the way you held me up when I was down
and I won't forget the way you said,
"Darling I love you"
You gave me faith to go on

Now we're there and we've only just begun
and this will be our year
took a long time to come

Yeah we only just begun
yeah this will be our year
took a long time to come

I had heard the song before, but it never spoke to me like it did that night. I guess sometimes a song just hits because of "right place, right time" flukes.

So to all my friends and family, this will be our year.